I let a relative stranger (albeit a very nice gentleman with whom I apparently share a love of many Virginia wines!) insert a green laser into my body at a particularly sensitive entry point, and "vaporize" a good deal of obstructing prostate tissue. This ain't your momma's PowerPoint pointer! This guy wasn't just pointing at stuff! He was VAPORIZING portions of my body!!
In all honesty, it went very smoothly. I have a very strong family history of prostate cancer, so I have spent my adult life diligently keeping up with regular yearly checkups, getting PSA tests and trying to get doctors to actually examine me. My numbers have always, thus far, been good! Fortunately, my particular prostate issue, while extremely aggravating, is totally benign.
Unfortunately, the icing on this rather macabre proverbial cake is getting sent home with an indwelling Foley catheter! Now many of you may know about my many years working as a surgical assistant. I have both inserted and removed many catheters in those years. But fortunately, or perhaps unfortunately, I never had the "opportunity" to experience this from the patients' perspectives. Until now. And ya know, I'm not a fan. This particular Foley that I am "wearing" has a 45 cc balloon, which is full of at least that much saline...although I swear it's a gallon and a half! Then, just to remind me that I just had surgery, I suppose, the bore of the tubing that exits this most sensitive area of my person to carry away liquid wastes, feels like it must be some of that white tubing from which they build patio furniture. Or at least a 22 rifle barrel.
Oh, and I get to remove it myself in the morning! Well, again, the truth is he asked if I wanted to remove it rather than make that hour and fifteen minute-drive tomorrow. I probably had one of those testosterone-fueled, hold-my-beer moments and said, "Sure! No problem!"
But after that hour and fifteen minute drive home today with this thing feeling like a fence post in my lower half, I am actually glad my ego got its way and I can remove it myself, in my own home, in my own time, my own way. Hopefully most of the neighbors will be working and so, won't hear me scream.
Now, while I hope this little day-in-the-life tale entertained you just a little, or even made you smile or chuckle, that was not my primary objective for sharing. This is simply a great wat to remind all you men out there to stay on top of your own health! All men should be getting a PSA, or Prostatic Specific Antigen test, after turning 50. Some high risk men should start even earlier, say 40 or 45. Talk to your doctor. It could save your life!
#oldmandisease
#bph
#talktoyourdoctor
#youoweittoyourself
#youoweittoyourfamily
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