Tonight, we went to the local cinema to see the film, “Joni
75: A Birthday Celebration.” Joni Mitchell, one of my very favorite
singer-songwriters of all time has turned 75, and some of her musician friends threw
her a party in the form of a tribute concert. Thank God someone made the decision to film the entire event!
I had seen lots of little references to the birthday celebration online, including some short clips of one of my favorite musicians, James Taylor, participating on stage. When the event popped up on Facebook advertising this filmed concert and celebration, I jumped at the opportunity and immediately bought tickets!
The moment the film began, I was thoroughly enthralled. And
I’m not proud of this, but 2 minutes in, and basically for the rest of the
film, I had a lump in my throat, and tears streamed down my face. This old guy’s
dry eyes were not dry tonight! It was really hard not to openly sob a couple of
times! Today, ironically, a friend posted a meme on my Facebook timeline with a
picture of a little boy with his eyes closed, and his hand on his heart, and it
said, “That feeling you get when music touches your soul.” This film, and the
music in it, not only touched my soul, but embraced it, stroked it, rewarded
it.
Why would a grown man weep like this during a concert movie?
Well, I asked myself that repeatedly throughout the movie. And in silence, I
responded with many answers.
I wept because the music was so good. The melodies were
lovely and unpredictable, and the lyrics were sheer poetry. My soul was,
indeed, touched.
I wept because I thought about how proud these musicians
must have felt to be a part of this event, even how the instrumentalists on the
stage must have been to both perform with all this stellar talent, and to
perform in tribute to Joni Mitchell, this amazing singer-songwriter!
I wept at the performances, for the pure raw emotion with
which they delivered Joni’s songs. Each one was more magnificent than the last.
I wept at the shots of the rapt audience faces, swept into
the spell of melody and lyric and emotion.
I wept at the comradery of the musicians onstage and off.
This common cause was obviously a truly unifying force!
I wept because nearly every song flooded my brain with
memories...memories of myself listening to Joni’s music growing up, memories of
events, or things I was doing at a time when one of the other of these songs
were playing, memories of emotions that poured out every time I could remember
hearing ‘that song.’
I wept for all those people who I knew would love this, but
who were not here to enjoy it with us.
I wept because I was lucky enough to be sitting there,
watching this amazing event up close and almost personal, with an amazing sound
system.
I wept because one of the artists presented, Kris
Kristofferson, showed obvious signs of dementia, but with help from Brandi
Carlile, performed beautifully.
I wept at the way Joni looked, frail, old, still very
beautiful, but vulnerable, and knowing her health was failing.
Mostly I wept, I realized, at my own inadequacies: my innate
need to make music, to sing, to perform, to please an audience, and my
inability to do so, as well, as much, and as satisfyingly as these artists. I
wept at the choices I’d made in life, putting music farther down the list of
important things to do. I wept that these people were living fulfilled dreams,
and that I was not. I wept because my years left on this earth are much fewer,
and there is no chance I can improve that situation.
So, I wept. I’m not proud of it, but I’m also not ashamed. I
have a heart. I feel emotions. I refuse to let convention or someone’s skewed
view of gender or expected behavior dominate me. I wept. And then I got over it. The important
things that remain are that my soul and spirit were enriched and renewed
tonight. The emotional releases are cathartic and cleansing. I’m pretty sure I
will sleep better tonight too!
Happy and sad tears flowed from this same pair of eyes, down
the same face, and onto the same collar simultaneously. I wondered for a moment,
if they were scientifically analyzed, happy tears and sad tears had the same or
different compositions.
Epilogue:
If you can't tell from this piece, I felt this film was wonderful, amazing, stunning! It's filled with some of the best performances I've seen...hands down! Performers include Norah Jones, James Taylor, Rufus Waynewright, Emmylou Harris, Seal, and Diana Krall, just to name a few. I actually believe that, even if you aren't a die-hard Joni fan like myself, you will still marvel at this collection of work. Do yourself a favor.
